dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
