Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
