someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize