I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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