some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He better not be in your backpack
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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