i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
