My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize