Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
