wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
