everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
