my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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