If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
