Who did Billy Mays play for?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
