And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
