Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
