I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
