i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
