We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
