wat bout pragnant strippers??
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
