I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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