if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Randomize
