in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You can't just leave with hair like that
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
