I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
