Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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