I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
