Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
