My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
