There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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