just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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