her vagine was all disorganized.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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