so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
