I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize