I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's just like the Real World with babies
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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