You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
