You just made me feel so damn special
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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