Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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