i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dicks are not precious.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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