they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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