Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
