she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
