woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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