I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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