A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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