The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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