there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
