worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
