Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
