My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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