i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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