can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
