Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Let's get the cat blown out
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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