Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and she was petting her beer can
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
