btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
