So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't deserve a penis
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
