so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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