I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
