No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
