How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
