id be glad to
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
