would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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