Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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