wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize