i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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