Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
