Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
