i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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